today we learned that french duckface is called “cul de poule,” and that this is an extraordinarily fine example of cul de poule.

we say again: really, france? are you TRYING to keep us away? and to think, as 16-year-old misunderstood artsy kids, we all longed to be in you. metaphorically, of course. mostly metaphorically. some of us were apparently total perverts with teenage delusions of doing dirty things to a croissant in front of the eiffel tower, but man, john’s a total nutcase and we try not to pay any attention to him anymore.