this email brought joy and happiness to our cold, dark, fabulous, tequila-soaked hearts:

“i am not proud to say this..but i am the duckfacer in these photos. and there a many more, but i would like you to know, that after seeing this site, i have found my way and will NEVER make this face again :) please forgive me…. quart of jack is on its way :)

this is why we do what we do, people. if we can save just one misguided kid from a life of jersey-shore-worthy profile pics, all the pain of looking at these stupid pictures is worth it.

and damn right, that jack had better be on its way. we totally deserve it.